Matsya kriti dhara jaya devesha

I was trying to find the bhaja govindam version of prayer.. couldnt find that and was missing the hymn while i wasnt in india.. so while i wrote and practised the first 3 stanzas i thought i'll share with the world.. below it is..

Matsya kriti dhara jaya devesha
Veda vibhodhaka koorma swaroopa
Mandara giridhara Sookara roopa
Bhoomi vidharaka jaya devesha
Bhaja Govindam Bhaja govindam Bhaja govindam Bhaja Gopal

Kanchana Lochana narhari roopa
Dusta hiranyaka bhanjana jayabho
Jaya jaya vamana bali vidhwamsin
Dusta kulanthka bhargava roopa
Bhaja Govindam Bhaja govindam Bhaja govindam Bhaja Gopal

Jaya vishrwasasth suthah vidwansin
Jaya kaunsare yadukula tilaka
Jaya vridnavan chara devesha
Devaki nandana nandakumara
Bhaja Govindam Bhaja govindam Bhaja govindam Bhaja Gopal

Selfishness & Selflessness - A Way of life, A sense of purpose!

Selflessness & Selfishness

Yet another knot of illusion in the world are these two terms which are so closely related to the same entity the “self” or “I” but yet so complex in its own ways. They perplex our life’s in ways that we are totally unaware of their nuances and its impact on our behaviors and or existence. For the benefit of my readers I wanted to bring some clarity to these contradicting subjects of human behaviors. I will try to articulate them to the best of my abilities and encourage you to contribute or challenge me more ☺. And I hope that my writings will stimulate you to learn more about yourself and bring more awareness to you.

For the context herein I refer to the self as “I” , the gross “me” as we see and feel ourselves in this world.

Selfishness-

As long as we are and will continue to be in this world the “I” needs to exist in one way or the other and for it to exist it has to satisfy all basic and necessary conditions of existence.
The “I” has all its needs, vanities and sanities and therefore all our actions are either inspired to keep the “I” happy (Selfishness to Narcissism) and or are in the direction of protecting the “I” (having its self Respect)
A person who continuously ratifies the needs of his “I” is subject to the dualistic pleasures and pains in life
There is no Escape for the “I” from the worldly nuances
I must clarify that there is absolutely nothing wrong and its fundamentally needed that one constantly gratifies the needs of “I” to be successful and happy in many ways. The more he is successful in gratifying all his needs the more “I” will be significant in such individuals and thereby will be subject to all its nuances.

Selflessness
Selflessness is state of mind where there is an absence of short term gratifications to the “I” contrastingly it’s a state of mind where the manifestation of such behaviors tend to have a fulfillment of a long term needs of the “I”. Such “need” need not necessarily be an impact on the self but could be something like helping other cancer patients in the backdrop of a loss of close kith and kin to cancer. In such cases the gratification from such behavior’s is still owed back to the “I” . Here the “I” is more subdued in comparison to a person with acute awareness of the “I”
Considered be the nobler side of the self in general – is a illusionary side of selfishness and would still ratify the self in one way or the other.
In other words and I emphasize “generally” many of our acts which we believe is selfless in indeed gratifying the notion of the self or the “I” in us.
The exceptions to these are those individuals in the history who have achieved a state of complete absence of the “I” – well yes they then seize to exist – It isn’t death exactly may be I don’t know yet or may be with the limited human abilities of any sorts of assessments we could only call the person dead.
A lot of “Nice People” in world will exhibit this behavior of tending to be selfless – while the reasons of such manifestations could be a million beyond the scope of this article. I read the book “ No more MR Nice Guy” by Dr. Robert A Glover which propounded the theory of focusing on continuously gratifying the needs of the “I” in order to be successful in many relationship’s overall. His articulation is founded on such reasons that are core to “Nice Peoples” selflessness in general*.


SO!, In contrast to both these thoughts I feel that people who tend to me selfless are generally the ones who have a matured or advanced or rather different state of emotional responses and a different state of mind and character and therefore are different individuals that the ones who have acute awareness of “I”.
People with acute awareness of the “I” tend to be oriented more towards materialistic advancements of ones needs ( Including emotional)
People with higher degree of selflessness tend to see the “Self” or the “I” in larger communities than restricted to individualistic state. The “I” is more seen in the “WE”. The sense of “I” and its aspirations are channelized to mobilize fulfillment of a larger cause. This could then transpire to building of an ability to influence masses in certain directions.

It is therefore that either selflessness or selfishness are both acts of gratifying the self.
A condition ( unknown to me- I could only imagine it mathematically) where a person is at his epitome of selflessness tends to be closer to a state of absence of self. And I could only imagine that he therefore medically could seize to exist, or spiritually may have attained self realization.
Meaning a more evolved state of mind would have less individualistic needs alternatively the needs are much broader.
It is totally important that for one to exist, or exist peacefully one therefore needs to have a sense of purpose
That sense of purpose could be – buying more gold, having more fun, cars, girls, clubs, publicity, more attention etc for those individuals who are happy in these little gratifications of the “I”
That sense of purpose could also be – Uplifting of communities, Large Scale influence or being the catalyst or contributions to such influences, conscious or subconscious sacrifices of individualistic needs, etc.


I'd say whether selflessness or selfishness that it should be a choice that you make to be in harmony with yourself. A choice that defines you and your behavior’s. You must we all aware of the nuances of both the choices and accept either or both of it with utmost honesty and be at peace with it. There isn’t an right or a wrong thing with either of them! Since both are actually ways of life linked to the same “I”.

Overall – When I look at the world that is now steaming with Arab uprisings, many debt crisis and therefore instigates a “surface treatment” retaliatory response like the occupy wall street indicates a moral deficit in the world that could potentially subdue such trends intrinsically. The “more” of decades have left us with “Less” of tomorrow. The reason being an unprecedented and overly consumption of resources leads to over gratifications of the “I”. this also indicates that the demographics is mostly contained of individuals who have a greater sense of “I” and a greater need for gratifying the “I”. There is absolutely nothing wrong and is definitely needed. However if the world where to have a few more individual’s as leaders who could demonstrate a greater will to a sustainable growth and or sharing the joy a little more with the communities a sense of balance could then prevail in the world. A sense of such hope could then inspire us to move forward with a great leap of faith about our tomorrow. A sense of balance in both selflessness and selfishness could then make this world a better place to LIVE ☺
Best wishes to all of you, for 2012. May this year bring to us many more reasons to smile, Hope, Play, Sing, hug & love each other. May it be ever fulfilling and transform conscience to make us more better individual’s.

The dualities, The paradoxes! My theory of evolution and existential illusions

Wish I could use mathematics to explain this and I hope one day I can, but I will try the same by using the semantics – keep in mind that the meaning of the semantic terms herein aren’t as definite as mathematics so use the best of you comprehensive skills to imagine the same mathematically.
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All the matter in this universe and therefore all its constructs though are all distinct in its gross forms of manifestations, the very abstract of it all is very dualistic in nature. The dualities are both a part of the same universe! And exist endlessly with subtle balance between them and or bringing themselves from a constant state of volatility to a state of equilibrium where both are evened out and or are in space in a free form.

And this state of constant mobility between each other, causes the life to transition form one phase to many other phases. Transition therefore is the sort of default characteristic of the matter and the universe, and therefore life in all its forms.

When in a free form in space, these dualities that are opposite to each other in all its characteristics tend to be in state of movement fueled by the inherent energies in them and thereby of that in the universe.

Though the absolute is fully balanced, any cross section of the absolute space tends to have a random sample of dualities in varied degrees derived from its absolute.

These variations which are in conflict with each other cause that section of the universe to manifest a matter that is trying to tend to its natural state of balance ( which is the absolute). The matter again is inherently dualistic and will at one point of time, again be in the space in its free form.

While in the process of achieving its natural state of free form balance, there is a spectacular maxing out of these dualities within the given scale of the cross section. It would completely tend to its extremes to be in either of its dual forms and therefore then the matter would relieve itself out of such a cross section

Any given cross section would have all the potentials to achieve this state of free form, but I have to understand more what causes a few to max out or what factors could cause those few to outpace while the rate of change in others is still at a slower pace.

SANGFROID SEA

I sailed away from the shore
Miles away and more…
On a no moon night in turbulent waters questions were rife..
I riveted myself and pondered on matters trivial to material life…

Waves of needs & tides of abundance, to possess and let go,
Gross pleasures & naïve chastity , Jealousy and empathy,
Sainthood & barbarianism,
Devotion and sedition or any such polarities
I seek to orient my centroid of cognition unto you..oh Krishna my lord!!
Hold me and take me to your sangfroid sea of love & bliss at your lotus feet…

Random Thoughts

All varied forms of gross matter can be consolidated to positive and negative form of dualities that exist in everything. Neutrality is just an absence of orientation!

One of the reasons for Jealousy is an underestimation of ones own self worth..

Ramblings at the ganga that

Just recently i had been to calcutta on 14/1/2010 to get some peace and some questions answered for myself. it was a wonderful journey to the ganga that near belur mutt and dakshineshwar.
here are few of my ramblings through the days.


1. there is no truth other than "krishna", you have to live in truth that works for you to remain sane! alternatively you can live with the generalized mainstream truth.
2. your truth is unique for you and is driven by your values
3. you can change your truth by intellectually altering your values and inhibitions.
4. religion, law, nation, or policy or society is for those who are limited, it is to follow and conform for sanity
5. everything is impermanent or transient by nature except the transience
6. there is nothing called as you! you are not real but a monumental illusion ( Some say i'm what i choose to be - my choices, my actions _ LImited to the manifestation of Chitta)
7. your gross has no identity or your identity is not the gross!
8. for the materialistic world, that dwells in the perception of several sense organs, you are who you choose to be. Therefore you can choose to be anything at any times,
⁃ therefore there is no one set of identity that can describe you unless you choose to be the same one choice
9. there is no purpose in life! you have to give a purpose to life to have some sanity
10. life in itself is a purpose (?) - for what? any clarity or discussion from readers is welcome
11. there is nothing called as love but what manifests as need for each other is glorified as love.
12. there are only needs of different flavors beautified and sanctified for several reasons
13. in the game of emotional needs, two people who are beggars of this need have to satisfy each other of their needs in varied forms and times to keep the fundamentals of a relationship alive
14. every bondage always has its own terms and conditions, the bondage of emotional need has the most severe ones and also severe repercussions.
15. Of all the needs of a human being, emotional needs are the most strongest one that could propel or make one sink
16. imaginary variable in an equation is a big failure of our intellectual imaginations.
17. When one gives up several needs, the terms and conditions of a bondage decreases
18. He starts to be released of the trap slowly, but one mistake while trudging this uphill road can make you fall the depth of Antarctica.
19. While on this journey, when the gross needs, emotional needs, materialistic needs and all other needs start to diminish, the existence of the gross or connection to the gross starts diminishing
20. To reach this level, one has to pass through several hurdles of illusionary traps, sacrifices and utmost love to krishna,
21. On what seems like an end of this journey, the person has no bondage, and his mind is rooted only in krishna, the soul has started its connections to the absolute.
22. at this state slowly the gross seizes to exist, though i sometimes see this as my journey, i have not experienced such a sort of gross disconnections as yet. rather i get tempted to get back to the world
23. at some state i think when one is aware of the gross , the awareness of the soul increases. Perceiving the absolute increases, existing in the gross diminishes.
24. at some similar further state, the soul departs the gross to be one with him, and this is not DEATH.
25. this whole journey i feel can be accelerated with utmost devotion by means of music and singing from the heart!.


bonded with things of impermanence
bonded with all that is transient by nature
we are bonded to occasions of joy and lamenting
there is no escape from these dualities, but one could try to be in the game and be disconnected from these dualities, like a drop of water on a lotus leaf or like the mercury in a test tube.

Cognitive Dissonance & The Seeking

Yet again I got into the whirlpool of questioning, this time around “Attachment”

One side of your life you have wonderful job, friends, love which forms the epicenter of joy and misery. And on the other I’m drawn more and more towards the quest or search for self which also lead me to find what a true bliss of joy and love is like. For simplicity let me call this bliss as Krishna J.

So when I’m pulled on both directions of life, I get tattered apart miserably and wish that I chose one path either on my left which is materialistic where there are several beautiful & lamenting moments in it and on the right is my Krishna where only his bliss of love and joy exists. The ambiguity OR rather failing to completely subscribe to one path of life is what I call the cognitive dissonance.

Let me explain this a little more ,

Material Life –

So let’s say I appraise myself to getting married or committed to seek love and happiness, I then seek more love and more happiness by having a home, and a Kid and a family. There is no denial that when a kid smiles at you, your hearts melt away. You go and lift the kid in your arms and at some point you have to let it go. Or may be at some point you have to walk out, HOW do we confer these moments of joy and misery on each other should be viewed critically. One must realize that all these moments of joy and misery are extremely transitory by their very nature.
After having a kid, you seek more fulfillment by seeing the kid getting married and feel more content when I play with my grandchildren. Doesn’t stop here, I will then start yearning for pilgrimage and reading and all sorts of divine rituals at the far end of it because there is still a sense of more happiness and joy left to achieve. This word “More” stands on the theory of incompleteness or constant search which happens every day to everyone in varied degree and forms which I experienced and shared in my last write. It takes out a lot of time from one’s life until he spins out of it to say “I Don’t Know what I’m searching for”. “ I don’t know if this much is enough”. “ I don’t want to let you go, but yet I have to” . Let me call out a statement that we often use, “Love is Blind” bullshit I feel, I think one doesn’t know what he wants from that love or what is love. There is nothing called as love, there is only “SEEKING”. So love is feeling of seeking or desiring materialistic or emotional gains. Nothing else. And that’s y I feel even all these are manifestations of materialistic seeking. It appears to be a terrifying idea to give up what we love. We need not give up; the so called loved ones will themselves give us up in time because the worldly love and matter is extremely superficial and constructed. The quest takes a different direction here and if one is able to channelize this in the right direction, the journey to spirituality dawns on him. You could be the monk who sold his Ferrari.


Nevertheless infinite moments of joy are indeed sandwiched in this journey. What is also a part of this package is people, objects, experiences, transiting constantly and therefore one falling under the vicious cycle of constant bondage and demise of bondage, excitement, happiness, devastation or stressed out of a bereavement. This constant circle of arrival and departure is the truth of material life which should be accepted. It’s extremely transitory and not the absolute and therefore it will exhibit its true nature. Again things of the world will themselves tell us they are not be depended upon.

In my personal experience I fall in love very easily from the depth of my heart and get completely attached and give into what or whom I love. This, at different points of life raises some sense of belonging, happiness, security and insecurity, fear, jealousy anxiety etc etc which is as unpleasant as the pleasant times. Feelings like jealousy, anxiety, fear, insecurity stems from the subconscious mind which can be easily corrected sometimes. All these feelings are a result of materialistic obsession or indifference. Correcting the unpleasant ones and equally knowing the pleasant ones requires “EXISTENTIAL AWARENESS” . You could be happy and painful or oblivious to these in different ways at different times.

So when you know all of this is so fleeting, there are the following set of cognition's I have come across.

1. Live and sustain each moment , meaning savor the love and mourn when someone or something leaves you. i.e. Live and sustain both pain and glory, Live each moment.
2. Don’t be excited when you are happy and don’t be attached to the grief, imagine you are a third person and both these are a passing fad on your body.
3. Seek , search for yourself who is beyond these material objects and connect with Krishna’s bliss therefore you are completely detached to transitory feelings.

The first one is completely fit if I chose the path on my left. There is no question of quest here and says to only enjoy and live each moment whatever it is.
The second and third are more or less the same but just the articulation is different - “The quest for the bliss” I don’t know yet how this search for self and bliss is related closely. I know that “Self” is something that I can’t express as yet but definitely not bound by a definition of 250 characters. I’m like the air which is universal , I’m like the mirror which reflects what is shown in front of it. I have experienced these feelings momentarily and I’m flabbergasted to articulate such an experience.


The seeking

What is the purpose of life? Does it need to have a purpose? Do u need a reason to wake up in the morning? Do you need someone in the room to go back to? Do you need a billion to be happy? Are you happy if you have kids? Are you happy if you have a date? Why do you need more and more all the time? What is an answer, what is truth, what is true love, what is love, what is jealousy, what is happiness, what makes one sad, Etc etc

I feel my answer to all these is in seeking of his bliss, I strongly get pulled towards this as it’s the only truth that you will arrive at if you were pass through a deep and critical examination of all or any paths of life. It stops when you reach him, you fall in the bliss when you arrive at the scene. You will see him in everything you do, see, touch, smell whatever. You are not connected to the physical manifestation of yourself and thereby you are isolated from the joy and misery that flow past your body. When I run behind you o Krishna, I feel no joy I feel no misery I can only feel you which I cannot explain. Things like love, relations, money, luxury, characteristics crumble down with shame and incompleteness in front of you, my purity of soul and my love to you is the only thing that I can give you for it is me!. Accept me!

I also feel that I must seek help and help all my co passengers who are in this journey to reach him. I feel like I need to help those who are despondent in this vicious circle of materialism and are seeking themselves and Krishna. If I call the seekers as “Class apart from the Mass” , Well then class is still present in the mass, Krishna loves both mass and the class, then why help only the class not the mass too? I feel the answer is its meant to be a mass. One is meant to be living the materialistic world until a threshold point. After which he graduates to the class. If you imagine a melting pot of energy that contains both positive and negative particles, I feel there is so much a imbalance between the positive and negative energies, good and bad, poor and rich, material and divine, class and the mass etc. But both positive and negative energies are still a part of the concept. Positive is positive in reference to negative and negative is negative with reference to positive. May be the imbalance in required to reach a balance or may be balance is not meant to be balanced. Mass is meant to be mass until it graduates to the class, It’s like the circle which never ends. Then why help the class seek the bliss? Let them be the mass till they graduate to the class!!

Now the Dissonance part of it!

5 days during a week, I love my swanky job, I like the little bit of money, I like to see my parents happy, , I love to experience the moments when
I sing and sink in my tunes, I love to be belonged to someone close to my heart, I like to party, I like to go watch a movie, I love to be in love, I feel hard to let go of people whom I love, I’m very passionate about certain things, I LOVE kids,

When triggered by a event, when i win something, when I achieve something, when I see misery, when I fear of losing, anxiety, or nowadays when something really good happens or someone just comes along, it start slyly pricking my conscience and I go into this questioning mode and try to be oblivious to both sides of life. Then it starts , all of the above comes crumbling on me. It seems meaningless to me, I get drawn towards him more strongly. I feel like I should shut all the doors and completely get detached of all the above, I feel like walking out on all of it, I feel like running in search of him,. Yet my feet stumbles, yet my thought twitches, and the streams of reasoning lose its way in the midst of this unreal beauty, unreal joy and unreal smiles.

I’m muffled in the noise of a crowd, I’m stuck in the void between this running maniac and seeking maniac in a dreary desert. It’s like a crying child in a locked door, suffocated completely, while I see the door open I can’t run and when the door is shut I can’t live. How then do I carry myself oh Krishna, please show me my way, please guide me into your heaven of freedom and joy. Show me the path to the absolute. You either throw me in the circle and make me enjoy or mourn all materialistic gains and losses, or you call me unto you.